Here are a few pointers that might be helpful to you, right now, as the expectant father:

The DOs

Stay Calm. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.

Talk about it. Not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress. At CHOICES, we can help you prepare for those conversations.

Listen. The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.

Gather all the facts. Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.

Express yourself honestly. It’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But make sure she knows she is not alone.

The DON’Ts

Don’t bail. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.

Don’t pressure her. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regrettable situation. You will do well to work together as a team, whether or not you are currently a couple.

Don’t forget. You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as give your thoughts.