My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?

My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?

You didn’t expect this, but you just got the word—she’s pregnant. Right now, it may feel like everything is out of your control. But the truth is, how you respond matters more than you think.

Your reaction in this moment will say a lot about who you are. It can either strengthen your relationship or create lasting distance. This is one of those moments that calls for calm, courage, and compassion.

This guide will help you understand what she might be feeling, what your next steps are, and how to support her through it.

 

Is My Girlfriend Pregnant?

Before jumping to conclusions, you both need to confirm whether she’s actually pregnant. If she hasn’t taken a test yet, CHOICES offers lab-quality pregnancy testing at no cost to her.

If she’s already had a positive pregnancy test, the next step is an ultrasound. CHOICES provides an options discussion where we can talk about the importance of ultrasound timing, helping you schedule a scan at the right time while deciding on your next steps.

Why? Because a positive test alone doesn’t confirm a living pregnancy. It only detects the pregnancy hormone (hCG). An ultrasound verifies whether the pregnancy is viable and growing in the right place.

At CHOICES, ultrasounds are offered at no charge—and you’re welcome to come with her for the appointment.

 

What Not To Do When Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure right now. You might feel powerless, but your influence and presence mean more than you realize. Let’s start with what not to do.

 

Don’t Walk Away

When life feels heavy, your instinct might be to run. But she’s feeling the weight of this news even more.

What she needs most is your steady presence—someone who stays when it would be easier to leave.

 

Don’t Fight

Tension and fear can make small conversations turn into arguments. Try to resist that pull.
Your job isn’t to fix everything right now—it’s to listen and support.

You don’t have to have the perfect words. Just being calm and available can make all the difference.

 

What Options Are There?

When it comes to the pregnancy itself, the final decision belongs to her. Typically, she has three main options:

  • Carry the pregnancy and parent

  • Make an adoption plan

  • Choose abortion

Most unmarried women facing an unexpected pregnancy choose to carry about 60% of the time and abort about 40% of the time.¹

It’s important not to pressure her in any direction. Research shows that women who feel pressured into abortion by a partner are more likely to experience long-term emotional distress and post-traumatic stress symptoms.²

She has the right to make her own decision—but she doesn’t have to make it alone. You can help by being calm, informed, and supportive as she considers what’s best for her and for both of you.

 

“I’m Not Ready To Be a Dad.”

It’s okay to admit that you don’t feel ready. Almost no one does at first.

Becoming a dad often brings out parts of a man he didn’t know existed—strength, purpose, and a deeper sense of responsibility.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to keep showing up.

Being a great dad isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. Are you willing to learn, to grow, and to be there?

Try not to get lost in fears about money, freedom, or the future. Support and resources exist to help you both. And while many men regret walking away, few ever regret choosing to step up.

 

Support in Woodland Park and Cripple Creek

You don’t have to navigate this alone. CHOICES offers free support for men and couples, including baby supplies and practical resources.

 

Whether you’re feeling lost or ready to lead, help is available.

 

 

 

 

Sources

 

  1. 1. https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-and-abortion-northern-america
  2. 2. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/08862605241253026